It's been long since I last wrote an entry here. Obviously, I must be quite desperate.
I've been feeling so messed up lately and it is driving me insane. I have never quite felt anything like this before. Not that I want to, anyway.

You are so selfish. You think this is the right choice, that this is what's best. But have you ever considered what I want and how I feel? I feel miserable and I'm crumbling. Slowly but surely.

Maybe it's time I stop doing things for others and start doing things for myself. Put myself first for a change.

Finally told mom everything and I think she understands now. She keeps checking on me and it makes me feel vulnerable, yet it feels good to not bottle things up anymore, to know that there is someone to rely on besides myself.