Dammit I feel so fcking unwanted. Kinda pissed with my dad. Is it me or do I feel that he's always shirking his responsibility? I don't get why he's always putting the blame on me, making me feel like I'm a burden to him. Friggin' hell. I feel like everyone's pushing me around. Rather, the responsibility of taking care of me. Okay fine, I've been trying so hard to prove to everyone that I CAN survive without my mom, that I'll be okay. But it's getting harder and harder every minute. &the fact that it's the end of the year and people are leaving Singapore, it just sucks shitloads.

I feel like sucha selfish bitch, I didn't realise this until Sam told me 'Can you not sound so happy?'
I don't know why I'm not really feeling anything right now. Sometimes I feel so friggin' worried, yet sometimes I don't feel a single thing. But I've been having this nagging feeling, a hunch that something's not gonna go well. &I really, Really hope that it's just my paranoia acting up again. Maybe I'm just trying to push all those feelings aside. Geez I've really got no clue.

I miss mommy and I don't know why but I'm yearning to be alone with her, talking to her like how we talk at night. But no, I can't do that cause I always need people to fetch me around. I feel so fcking useless. It helps to know that I can go to the hospital anytime and that I actually KNOW how to, so that if I feel like going to see mom I can just go down anytime. But fck, mom's in NUH now - so friggin' far away and I don't even know where in the world it is. Argh I'm feeling like shit right now.


At least today was fun (:
Caught Enchanted with Sammoo. Haha it was mighty funny! (besides the occasional squeals from Sam going 'Patrick Dempseeeey' xD) The prince was damn bimbotic, HAHA. Wished the night could've lasted longer. Neither of us wanted to go home. Besides, most shops were still open. ;D I wanna go on a shopping spreee! But that will have to wait, I guess. Ohwell, I shall buy clothes for Christmas :D

I don't feel like sleeping... ): Cause I know that I probably won't be able to get to sleep. But anyway~

(:

Oh I'm real sorry for the emo first half of the post, but I feel loads better. :D


Do you believe in love at first sight?
I don't.. So I shouldn't be falling for you, right? Cause it's insane - I don't even know you. I used to believe in love at first sight and fairytale endings. But they don't exist. Rahh, it sucks how I pass by that place almost every single day yet I don't have the courage to go there, or I pass by that place but can't go in cause people would think that I'm nuts. It sucks to know that I'm so near, yet so friggin' far away.

Okay, g'night world. (: